Purpose

Many of us stay-at-home Moms put our lives on hold during these years to raise our families.  Of course, there are many of us who are able to compartmentalize our lives: friends, family, kids, and ME. I struggle to not allow my kids to consume all areas.  I haven’t abandoned friends (I’ve actually met and made some I believe to be lifelong friends in these past five years) or my husband, but I certainly have abandoned myself.  I feel a bit uncertain when I think about that “working” world. What is my purpose anyway? Psalm 139:41 says we are “fearfully and wonderfully made” and are here to “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” (Matthew 22:37).  I was trained to be a teacher, I’m fascinated by the nursing profession; however, I ended up writing for a paycheck. But, is writing my purpose? Should our Professional define our purpose?

As my kids gear up for Fall (yes, I’m already thinking about it!) and start school (Lily in Kindergarten and Oliver in pre-school), I can’t help but think of how I will use those FIVE overlapping hours that I will have ALL TO MYSELF each week!!!  It’s a daunting thought actually.  Will I take a lake walk, make appointments, clean the house, finally get pictures and videos organized, do the grocery shopping, etc?  Or read the Bible?  Scripture provides me with the answer, but the means is a bit tricky. I’m a self-proclaimed “type A.”  I like order, structure, routine, plans and a level of prediction.  When the house is a mess, the frig is empty, the sink is full and the laundry baskets are overflowing with folded laundry, I tend to spiral a bit. I sometimes feel like the Tasmanian Devil zipping and spinning through the rooms of my house with a ravenous look of furry on my face! So, will I be able to put my OCD tendencies aside and read Scripture?  I suppose I can’t afford not to, eh?

When do you find time for God in your busy days? It’s fundamental to God’s purpose for our lives.  How can we teach our children to realize his or her own strengths, personality, potential if we as Moms aren’t fully aware of our own?

BE STILL AND KNOW

I am not sure about you but with my kids at the ages they are at there are a never ending amount of questions. Why, why not, why? Sometimes I give them an intelligent answer and sometimes I find myself saying "because I said so". (I know...I told myself I would never say that to MY kids)

We are like that with God too. Sometimes when we ask for things from God we expect an answer that explains what we want to know. Sometimes we ask a question that we already know the answer to or we want the answer right now! Psalms 46:10 says "Be still and know..." It is often not what we want to hear but it is what He want us to learn from the idea of not knowing. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"(Jeremiah 29:11) We (and our children)may not understand the reason for the waiting but we need to trust Him and dig into His word for reassurance during those times.

That being said...I am ok with not having give my kids an explanation for everything. They need to learn to be satisfied with (because I said so) "Be still and know". They need to learn that God with assistance from us parents has a plan for them, to give them hope and a future.

Still learning,


Shelley

Skipping church

I spent the weekend in WI with my kids, so my husband could REALLY have a break. Not just from us, but from his work as well. I was honestly relieved that he didn't wash the deck or re-sod the backyard (ok, so there was a tinge of frustration), but the rainy weather was on his side, so he got the R&R he needed! :) The kids and I went back to WI to take in my former high school's rendition of The Wizard of Oz (fantastic!!); however, we also managed to enjoy some time on the river, some time at the pool and some time just enjoying Gma & Gpa.

Sunday morning rolled around and like both Friday morning and Saturday morning, Oliver came busting into the room in which Lily and I slept announcing he needed help with his yogurt stick or needed his "soaking" diaper changed. Lily willingly got up with no question about what time it was. I was a little less inclined to start my day (I think it was about 6:45). My Dad is an early riser which I never could understand, but am so thankful for now! With a little help (from a list I leave him), he manages to get the kids thru breakfast without too much of a sugar high. Therefore, I continued to sleep this past Sunday morning and sleep and sleep. My parent's church even starts an hour later than ours (11:00) and I still just seemed to think that I needed the rest more than I needed to sit in church.

My kids never questioned why I was still in my pajamas as they dashed out the door with their busy backpacks nor did they inadvertently make me feel guilty when they returned home a mere 60 minutes later (my parents didn't make me feel guilty either BTW). My kids are very perceptive and inquisitive and yet was it me that was suffering from a lingering "Catholic" guilt (a guilt my kids will never experience as we are not raising them Catholic - gasp!) for skipping church? I think everyone in the house knew mommy needed a little extra rest - rest that only truly occurs when NO ONE is home! They all seemed OK with it....I just wish skipping church would settle better with me...especially when my own sanity and stamina are at stake. I think God will forgive me. :)

Any Catholics (recovering or otherwise) out there that are still plagued by the "guilt"? Someone must have a good verse for me????

Proverbs 14:1

Already I digress from the “curriculum” I proposed. Perhaps I should reconsider teaching as the lesson plan digressions were one thing I had the most difficult time with. I’ve certainly become more flexible and open to Plan B during this motherhood gig.

One of my all time favorite (convicted me immediately) Bible passages is Proverbs 14:1. The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down.

Let’s face it, as the mommy we control the mood of our entire household including our husband’s moods. It’s been said, “if momma ain’t happy, then no one is happy.” This is so true today as well as when I was a kid. I never feared my Dad, it was always my Mom (sorry mom!). This is a great deal of pressure as well as a priviledge and therefore a bit flattering actually. J

I can think of several times where I just wanted to be the dad for a day. Not that my husband is totally checked out, but I cherish those Saturday mornings (the day we don’t have to BE anywhere at a certain time) when David gets up with the kids. I can eavesdrop on my little darlings as they calmly eat what is served at breakfast at whatever speed it’s put out on the table without a care if the yogurt dripped on the container or the glass is only ½ full of juice. They are just delightful! I want to join in on the fun, but I know that as soon as I wake up, Oliver’s night-time diaper will finally need to be changed and someone will want another waffle NOW. For some reason, I think just one day it’ll change, but it has yet to. I love this honor, but it also frustrates me. This rank in the household structure puts immense pressure on we moms to just be ourselves. I’m very open with my kids about my frustrations and they are very aware of my signals. My three year old has already caught on to my emotional needs and always seems to say, “I love you mommy” just when I need some perspective. It’s as if he knows I’m going to do something I’ll regret if he doesn’t turn things around emotionally for me.

What about you…do you have an interesting story or situation to share about how you single-handedly either built or torn down your house?

About me

When I was a kid, I never wanted desperately to be a mommy. Sure I had my dolls and babysat the neighbor kids, but I honestly never consider one day actually being a mommy to one (or more!) of God’s children. Even when my now husband and I talked about our desires for our lives, having children of our own scared me to death, but I knew it was something he really wanted! The longer took for us to get pregnant (including one miscarriage), the more I knew I had a genuine desire to be a parent. After three years of marriage, our daughter, Lily, was born. Two years later, our son, Oliver, was born. I cannot imagine life without them even though parenting demands emotional, mental, physical and spiritual challenges and rewards simultaneously and individually on a daily basis. It’s EXHAUSTING! It’s nearly impossible to do it ALL alone, so why would we even consider it?

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.

I’m a stay-at-home Mom and have been since Lily was born in 2005. We’ve stayed busy these past five years with the usual activities: music classes, swimming lessons, gymnastics, ballet, trips to the parks, zoos, movies and lakes; however, it’s the time I spend with other Christian Moms at our church Bible study and my Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS) group that I look forward to the most. It could be because it’s time away from my kids! J But, I know it’s because I get to spend time with other Godly women with similar prayers, praises and desires for themselves and their kids.

Raising kids today by society’s standards is so different than raising them by His standards. Personally, I want the latter and that is why I created this blog: for me, for Y-O-U and for your families.

God bless and happy parenting for Him!

Tiffany R. Olson

1 Corinthians 4:2 Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful.

Tell me about you!

Welcome!

Purpose: a place for mothers (and fathers) to discuss, learn and reflect on God’s vision for us parents based on Biblical teachings and scripture rather than society’s norms.

Vision: To support Christian parents as we raise our children in a Christ-like manner to be godly-kids and followers of Him.

Although I envision this blog being organic, I’d like to use the following topics from Steve Nelson’s book, Premeditated Parenting.: Foundational Christian Parenting to help guide our discussion and applicable Bible verses/scripture:

• · Rethinking Parenting
• · Parenting with Confidence
• · Winning Ways
• · Parenting in Love
• · Discipline
• · Teaching and Training

For more information check out Steve Nelson's book Premeditated Parenting.: Foundational Christian Parenting at www.premeditatedparenting.net.